For You Only
by TheWanderingMiko
Summary: Sesshomaru is off to battle, but it doesn't go as he plans and he is injured. When Kagome hears of a man that was found outside of Takkunai village, she races to investigate. But what will happen when she gets to him? Will it be the demon she's hoping to find? Or will she find something else entirely? A story written with lord-sesshomaru-sama on Tumblr.
1. Chapter 1

The blood was a warm trickle down his temple that his demon healing was working desperately to quell, sticky and wet as it dribbled over the magenta stripes that graced his cheekbones and made its way down until at last it rounded his jawbone and dripped onto the floor. He felt sick, the vision afforded to his hazy golden eyes was blurry and he was having a hard time focusing as the ache in his temple radiated and pulsed angrily. There was only one thing he could focus on, one thing that was holding him to reality as he trudged through the snow, further and further from the battle field.

**Kagome.**

He could see her face in his mind's eye, her warmth, her smile. She was a mere blip in the lifetime that he would lead, yet she radiated light that lit up everything that he'd ever been and everything that he wanted to be. For her he would do anything and right now that meant forcing his battered husk to the nearest human village. He had to return to her, he'd promised.

He'd promised her before he'd left for this ridiculous battle-a battle that he'd not even wanted to be a part of-that he would come back to her. The smell of her tears was still so fresh in his mind; she'd cried and kissed his cheeks, holding Rin who was far more hysterical at her guardian's departure. Kagome no doubt had been far more upset than she'd let on, but being the motherly being that she was she'd been strong for Rin. Perhaps she'd thought she'd been clingy enough.

She'd not wanted to let him go the night before his departure, she'd been surprisingly insatiable and he'd broken a sweat slaking her, something that not many humans could boast about. Not that she would, she was an acceptably demure woman in that respect if not in much else. Even after the pleasure, she'd clung to him, cuddled and curled against him, refusing to sleep until the wee hours of the morning.

'I will return' had been his promise and at the time he'd been nothing but sure that he'd be able to keep that promise

But the smell of his blood was making it difficult to know what direction the next village was in, and now that assured attitude was starting to desert him. Even the stink of humans wasn't enough to overcome it, it seemed. Shaking his head as his vision grew hazier, he lost his balance and sunk to the ground as his eyes caught an unrecognizable figure pacing towards him cautiously.

"Kagome…" He wanted so desperately for it to be her, but it couldn't have been, he was so far from her home still, there was no chance at all. And with that, the injury to his temple claimed his consciousness for itself and he was left at the mercy of the mortal

—

"Have you heard? They found a strange man outside of Takkunai village, they think he might be a demon…" Kagome stopped in her tracks, the basket of fish balanced on her hip as she watched the two women who stood gossiping, their voices hushed so as not to be overheard so easily.

"No! Really? Why?!" The other woman asked curiously as her friend giggled before answering.

"He has golden eyes!" The eavesdropping miko's breath hitched at the response.

"Really…?"

"That's what the hunter that found him says…" Kagome all but threw the basket of fish to the ground, not caring that a week's worth of meals was likely ruined now, she raced to Kaede's, needing to know if she knew anything of it.

**Sesshomaru.**

She'd not heard from him once since he'd left, and while that wasn't surprising-there weren't exactly foot runners available to bring her messages-she couldn't help but worry about him. That came along with the territory of loving him.

Kaede's hut was dim compared to the bright world outside as the younger miko rushed inside. The elder miko looked up at her as if she'd been expecting her, not really smiling but not really upset that she'd barged in either. She poked her fire and then her stew before she spoke in a light, even tone.

"Let me guess, you want to know if I have heard the gossip going about…" A meager look of confirmation crossed Kagome's face and a smile cracked Kaede's features. "Kagome, if you're that concerned, why not go to the village where the demon was found? Seeing for yourself would do you better than listening to an old woman regail you with the gossips of others, wouldn't it…?"

"But RIn-" Kagome started but the older cut her off.

"Rin will be fine in my charge…" Finally nodding, the younger miko headed to pack.


	2. Chapter 2

His thoughts were all jumbled. He'd see flashes of faces and things, but he couldn't tell if they were memories or reality. Once he arrived in the village, he had fallen unconscious, and now he lingered in between waking and sleep. But he didn't like the voices they heard. They were negative, and he didn't have the strength to process the words.

His mind kept calling out for someone, but he couldn't remember who. Some woman with midnight colored tresses. Who was she, and why did his mind go to her first?

The trip to Takkunai village was a three day long march of worry and fear as the miko made her way as fast as she could. More than once her mind swirled to the possibility that this wasn't the demon that she was hoping it was; but that thought was quickly dismissed because she _needed_ it to be him. If it wasn't she didn't know what she would do after coming all this way. If it wasn't him that meant she still had to worry that he wouldn't come home.

Takkunai looked welcoming as the third afternoon wore into early evening and she finally set foot on the busy dirt streets. Tired as she was-she hadn't slept well since he'd left and this entire trip she hadn't slept at all-she squared her shoulders and marched up to the first villager that she was able to catch.

It was an older man in a green kimono, he had a friendly face and he gave her a little bow when she approached him. Perhaps he had taken pity on her; he was her fourth try to get someone to talk to her.

"Can I help you, priestess?" Kagome ran a hand through her hair, inwardly cringing at how dirty it was.

"I'm looking for the man that was found, the one they are saying is a demon…?" A knowing smile crossed the elder man's face.

"Ah, well you're going to have to talk to the headman, his house is at the top of the hill." Following the point of his crooked finger, the raven haired woman quickly caught the house in her sights and nodded with a thankful smile before setting for it at a run.

Sesshomaru managed to find his way to a semi-conscious state. He could tell that he was in a hut; a human's if the smell was anything to go by. Trying harder, he tried to bring his mind out of whatever fog it was in. It worked after a few tries. Standing up, he staggered into a room and saw an old man and the woman from his dreams talking.

"He is right in there," the man said, pointing to where Sesshomaru now stood.

Deep brown eyes rose then under thick lashes to meet with bleary gold ones as the headman stood and smiled, saying something that sounded like 'Oh you're awake'. Honestly Kagome didn't hear it, her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the disheveled-and slightly bruised man-before his name dropped from her lips.

"Sesshomaru…?" In an instant she was up off that floor and racing for him, wrapping herself around his neck and holding on for dear life for a moment before she pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. "Oh my God, are you okay?!" Craning and pulling his face gently, she inspected the harsh bruise on his temple, then the one on his cheek, then his collar bone. It had been days, if these were still visible it was very likely that the original damage had been much worse.

It was then that she noticed the look of confusion that he was giving her, blinking tears away, she smiled for him.

"For heaven's sake, say something…"

The woman was real, he wasn't imagining it, but why would the woman in his dreams be a human? He hated them, and the only thing stopping him from attacking the headman was debt. Sesshomaru would repay it by letting the villagers live. "Do not touch me, human," he snarled. Dreams or no dreams, he would not let himself be sullied by humans. Pulling away from her grasp, he walked towards the door, his steps becoming stronger.

Kagome went cold as he all but threw her away from him, snarling and hissing as he might have when they'd first met. He turned away from her, heading for the door and instinctively she reached for him.

"Sesshomaru-" but again he pushed her away, this time hard enough to knock her to the floor and tears gathered in her eyes. She wasn't able to process this. Tears streaked down her cheeks and this time she shrieked his name, a barrier immediately rising around the home, preventing his exit.

"Sesshomaru!" Her voice was choked as he stilled and a long moment of uncomfortable silence passed between them. Tears dripped from her chin landing with unheard splashes on the floor as she sought her mind for the right question to ask. There were so many. Where had the demon that had promised her the world gone? The demon that had spent an entire night kissing her good bye with the comforting promise to return as soon as he could. What had happened to that man? Had something happened to make him forget? Or had he never intended on returning to her? Had she been used?

Unsure if he was even listening, she fought back frightened sobs and spoke.

"Does-…does this mean you're not coming home?" It was the first question, the one that mattered to her the most because it held so many answers within it.

He growled as his foot connected with the barrier, streaks of electricity arcing from it. "Release me, miko," he demanded in a dangerous voice, "I have no home. I have chosen to wander before I settle down." What did she mean by that question? If he didn't know any better, it sounded like she implied they lived together. "Tell me miko, who are you? Why did you come all this way to see me and ask me questions?"

She gawked at him, brown eyes wide and wet with tears as she stared into the deep golds that were surveying her. This wasn't a joke; his eyes held no softness for her and for some reason that didn't quell the ache inside her. Her lips fumbled to find the words she was searching for as his eyes narrowed in scrutiny.

"It's me, it's Kagome!" the words trembled as they escaped her and the headman placed his hand on her shoulder then.

"Perhaps you are mistaken of his identity, miko…" That raised her temper, she shoved the man's hand away and stalked towards Sesshomaru, determined now to make him see she was telling the truth.

"No, I am not mistaken!" She snapped as she glared at the headman who took a step back, "I've looked into those eyes a thousand times. I've shared days and nights with him! I know every inch of him and I am not mistaken!" If she hadn't been so upset she might have been embarrassed at what she'd just admitted, but right now no such shame took her as she turned back to face the irate demon.

She stared into his seething glare, watched as his fingers twitched with the need to silence her-something she'd faced many times before they were allies-and knew that there was no recognition in his stare.

**It was then that she truly felt helpless.**

"You _are _mistaken, miko. I would never follow in my father's footsteps and lay with a human woman. You must be delusion if you think that I ever would," he told her. He watched her. The woman seemed so convinced that what she said was true. He couldn't even detect a lie in her scent. There was only sadness.

"Release me, miko. I'd rather not show my gratitude by shattering the barrier and possibly killing the people that sheltered me," he said. His eyes looked down when he noticed two swords. "Are these mine?" He asked.

"Yes, we found them on you," the headman replied nervously.

"Miko, you claim to know me so well. What are these swords? One is my father's fang; the useless sword. What is the other and why do I still carry Tenseiga?"

The raven haired woman's lips trembled as tears gathered in her eyes at his denial. As if weighted, the corners of her mouth dragged downward and she had to bite her cheek, doing her best to swallow the lump that was forcing its way up her throat.

**This couldn't be happening.**

Her legs trembled beneath her as she watched him momentarily distract himself from her with his swords. He touched them familiarly and yet he still asked her of them.

A sob escaped her as she opened her mouth to answer the question that he'd proposed.

"It is your birth right and it loves and protects you…" she swallowed again before continuing, "The second is Tokijiin, a demon sword forged from the fang of Kageromaru, an incarnation of Naraku."

But something was wrong, and it was then that she turned to the headman.

"Where is the third?" The headman gaped like a fish, forcing a diplomatic smile and a nervous laugh though he backed down when he saw that she was not yielding. He snapped his fingers and one of his attendants disappeared for a moment. Kagome's eyes tearful gaze flickered to Sesshomaru briefly before the attendant reappeared with the last sword. A magnificently beautiful, white sheathed weapon.

"And this is Bakusaiga" she managed, the lump slowly sliding down her throat at least enough to talk without sobbing, "this is _your_ sword…"

He stared thoughtfully at his swords. All three of them. He never had need of a sword before even if he did carry Tenseiga, but it was a useless sword anyway. How did he suddenly have his own sword, one that resonated with his own power? Accepting the weapon, he pulled it from its sheathe and ran his fingers over the blade. What happened to him?

Noises and sounds jumbled his thoughts. There was a battle that ended with a flash of light. Suddenly he remembered how he got Bakusaiga. He called it to himself when he regenerated his arm.

Watching as the demon before her seemed to have a stroke, a sense of hopeful worry coursed through Kagome and she took half a step towards him. He seemed to stagger for a moment and she wondered if he had-in fact-had a stroke before his golden eyes considered Bakusaiga with a new found recognition.

Had he remembered?

Her heart quaked and she looked on with a grave silence that held back the tears that wanted so desperately to fall. He remembered the sword, but when he glanced at her, the stranger that had taken his place was still there and all the love he'd professed to her before he'd left for battle was not.

Turning to the door, he placed a hand and watched as the barrier crackled against his skin. For some reason, the rejection seemed familiar, but he had yet to place it. "Release me, miko. I will not ask again, and I have no qualms about killing that get in my way. It would be best if you let me go without a fight," he said in level tones.

Kagome swallowed hard, the lump in her throat making it hard to talk as the tears on her cheeks cooled and dried into heavy stains. It was then that she made a decision, one that he likely would not approve of.

"If I release you, I am going with you" Her voice was the best sum of firm that she could call forth. Any other human would have shuddered and backed away as the demon lord rounded on them, his eyes seething. But Kagome simply stiffened her lip and watched him with a stubbornness to match his anger.

She was going to make him remember her, no matter how long it took or how difficult that feat turned out to be.

His lip curled in the beginning of a snarl. "Why? Why do you care so much? A miko should not want to follow a youkai like me. Some would consider it a crime to simply try traveling with me. Save yourself the hardship and only release me. I will on my way away from your sight as soon as you do so," he demanded. This woman…why was she so stubborn? How was she still alive? Most people he would've simply killed off for insolence.

"No."

Her answer was simple. Defiant. He was right of course; there were many that had frowned upon her relationship with him. There was one market that she refused to go to because of such reactions. She could picture the scene vividly as she stared up at his snarling face; he'd faced the woman that had struck her across the face just the same.

But unlike her assailant from that day, Kagome didn't back down. She didn't recoil in fear or even flinch; she just frowned up at him defiantly.

At this point the headman was getting very nervous with the mikos actions and said something about her definitely being mistaken about the man's identity. But she wasn't and as his youki curled around her, defending her even against him, she could have smiled.

As much as he hated to back down, he realized the only way he might get out was if he agreed with the miko. Besides, he could leave her under the pretenses of going hunting, or he could just fly away once they left the village. He called his youki to him, surprised to find it wrapping around Kagome, before he concentrated it around himself and pushing against the barrier. He wouldn't use his full strength otherwise he'd destroy the hut and injure the people that helped him.

Long moments of tension passed between them as she waited for an answer. She wasn't going to be backing down anytime soon, not with her whole world at stake. The headman gave a nervous whimper from somewhere behind her but she hardly heard him; she was focusing intently on the demon before her.

"What's it going to be?" She was willing to keep at it; he would have to kill her to get past her, something she doubted his youki would allow.

"Very well. I accept your conditions, now let me out before I change my mind and kill you," he said coldly. Why did his youkai react so familiarly with her? Based on the reactions, he'd say she would be a friend if not more, but that was impossible. He did not consort with humans. He would not repeat his father's mistakes, nor would he create a hanyou child.

Her firm resolve undiminished by his cold demeanor, Kagome gathered her belongings that had been all but tossed away when she'd first run to him. She was well aware of his impatient gaze upon her as she did so and finally-when he was all but simmering with annoyance and she'd taken her time gathering her belongings-she let the barrier down.

Following him all the way out of Takkunai, Kagome bit her lip, well aware of the stares that were following her. The head man as well as most of the village folk watched her in disbelief; it was normal, of course, she had just stood up to a man whom had been believed a demon. But their stares weren't the ones that bothered her.

The ones that bothered her were the ones from the few scowling members of the town that had disapproved of Sesshomaru's being brought in in the first place. Now that he was leaving and a priestess was leaving with him, their disapproval only became more pronounced.

Her mind traveled back to the market she refused to patron and the commotion that had occurred there. Sesshomaru had been there to save her then, but here, now, he wasn't. If anyone chose to voice their opinions or even strike out at her, he wouldn't have done anything and that hurt. Another stark reminder that the demon before her-her demon-no longer knew her.

By the time they reached the edge of the village, quiet tears were skating down her cheeks.

"Cease your crying, miko," he growled in irritation. The smell of salt bothered him for some unknown reason. He'd smelled tears before, usually before he killed someone. Why should hers be any different? He was supposed to be immovable, unfeeling, and unsympathetic. Why did they bother him so much? For some reason, he wanted her to no longer cry. She was just a human miko; he shouldn't care.

Irritation flooded through her as he snarled at her and before she thought better of it, she tore the ring with his family crest on it off her finger and threw it at him. She'd not taken it off since he'd given it to her, if she had chores to do or was on aid to a village, she simply turned it so that the crest pressed into her palm rather than displaying on her finger.

Glaring at him as it hit him with surprisingly accurate precision in the back of his head; she wiped her tears and paced past him as he bent to pick the trinket up.

Rings weren't a common thing to give as proof of engagement, but when he'd given it to her he'd told her that she'd mentioned once that it was a custom from her world. One that he'd chosen to honor by giving her the heirloom.

He stared at it; it was an heirloom…why did she have it? His mind immediately jumped to thievery, but something else told him that wasn't the answer. He had the nagging sensation that it was important. Looking at her, he thought of reasons he would give it to her. An image flashed into his mind, her happy face as she received the ring.

"You were happy when you received this…and I gave it to you, correct?" he asked.

She didn't turn to look at him as she silently nodded; bracing herself against cruel words that she was terrified would come next. His voice was urgent and confused; as if he couldn't comprehend it at all. Was it really so hard to believe?

He'd proposed to her just the past spring and she'd agreed happily.

Silence passed between them as she waited for his next reaction, wondering if more questions would come.

"Things like this are not usually given. I would only give this to a family member. Why would I propose to you?" Suddenly he stopped, his brow severely creasing. Why did he say that? That wasn't what he intended to say. Instead of "propose" he meant to say "give," but his mouth seemed to have different ideas. This memory loss, which he concluded he had, was a hindrance. He wished to be rid of it as soon as possible.

Her ears burned at the word 'propose' and she turned to look at him, glowering through the fresh tears that had risen. This was the fates laughing at her, making fun of her and her choices; of that she was positive.

What lesson was there to learn here? What purpose did having the being she loved most in this world forget her serve?

"Why do you think, you moron!" she snapped, her hands balling into fists at her sides as slow tears started their way down her cheeks "You wanted me to be your wife…" Taking a deep breath and telling herself that it wasn't his fault and there was no point in getting angry with him, she turned away again and tried to wipe her tears away.

"It was just a normal day…" she murmured, "you'd been gone for a few days on the idea that your mother had needed you for some diplomatic ordeal. I didn't think anything of it, it wasn't unusual…" But then she'd gotten home from bathing and he'd been sitting outside her hut. She could picture it, he'd not looked nervous but something had told her that he was.

His gaze softened slightly. If what she said was true, how did he forget someone that should be very important to him? "I wish I had all my memories, but I do not. If you wish, I will let you stay and help me recover them," he said, lifting his gaze from the ring after a long pause. He didn't believe her to be a thief; something told him she wasn't, so he decided to put some trust in her story. Perhaps she really was his wife or wife-to-be.

"What can I do?" she asked, her heart lifting a little when he offered to let her stay with him, the soft look she was used to returning to those golden orbs.

After a moment of thought and silence she held out her hand, almost laughing at the confused look that he gave her.

"I'd like my engagement ring back…" she said lightly, expecting him to hand it to her.

Silently, he placed it in her hand, his fingers brushing against hers. In his mind, he saw her smile and his thoughts about her scent. He had to agree with his past thoughts. She did smell appealing, even if he barely remembered her. Overall it was a useless dream but for some reason he didn't mind. It might help him uncover more about her.

Hyper aware of his hand brushing against hers as he placed the ring in her palm, she smiled gently and slipped the moon crest onto her finger. A memory of him slipping it onto her finger when he had proposed to her flashed through her mind and her smile widened.

Her thoughts whisked her away for a moment before she snapped back to reality and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Right, any questions?" That was probably the best place to start.

There were many he had, but he felt that now was not the best time to ask them. "Do you plan to follow me until I remember you?" he asked in a bored voice. Surprisingly, he was not completely against her presence. Compared to other humans, she did not make him want to kill her. At least not yet.

"How did we meet?" he asked as an afterthought.

Kagome almost opened her mouth to answer his question about her following him until he remembered her until he asked a second question. She supposed that in an ideal world there would be a super romantic way for every couple to meet but in all honesty the way they had met hadn't been romantic in any fashion.

"You tried to kill me" she answered lightly wondering if she should have started at the beginning with his enlisting the UnMother to aid in finding his father's tomb but she decided that she would answer those questions if what she said didn't jog anything loose. "You and Inuyasha were fighting over Tetsusaiga. Neither of you could pull it out of its stand, but I could…my reward was a blast of your poison…"

Her tone was light, she wasn't going to sugarcoat it but she wasn't holding a grudge either. They'd moved past that.

He scoffed.

"Then our first meeting is ironic. Somehow I went from wanting to kill you to seeing you as someone important to me. If I tried to kill you, why are you still alive? I never fail, and even if I did I would have continued until I finished the job. You shouldn't be alive if I wanted you dead," he replied. She was an enigma, and his amnesia made it worse. Now she was harder to figure out.

Frowning slightly at his barrage of questions, she let her mind wander back to the day in question. The first thing that came to mind was his arm and how he'd lost it. Instinctively her hand reached and touched his left shoulder, a pang of guilt ran through her but more than once he'd told her that it was something he wouldn't change.

Losing that arm had brought him to Rin as well as to her, and that was something he refused to give up.

"I'm the reason you lost your arm…" she said softly, wondering just how much of his memory she would have to try and piece together. "Inuyasha used Tetsusaiga to protect me and cut off your arm."

After that his anger wasn't directed at her, it had always been towards Inuyasha, even when she'd stepped between the two he never really focused on her besides to get the hanyou's attention. By the time the final battle had come, he'd been something of an ally, even protecting her when it was necessary.

He growled as that memory came back. It was his low point. He was defeated by a hanyou wielding a sword that he should not have. Lowering his gaze to the miko, he gave her an icy glare. "Thank you for that memory, miko. I remember that day quite vividly actually," he said, pulling away from her touch as if she would contaminate him, "I still do not understand how you became important to me."

Surely he wasn't following his father's footsteps. The ring must've been to ensure her safe passage somewhere…but why did she look so pleased to receive it? And why did he feel excited when he gave it? The fragments he had made no sense to him, and that bothered him almost as much as the woman being the cause of losing his arm.

Most would have flinched at the demon's outburst of irritation; some would have even cowered, but not Kagome. She frowned at him, crossing her arms as he tore himself away from her as though she were diseased. She was getting sick of this, annoyed at the situation and his lack of belief in what she said.

"How does anyone become important to anyone else?" She snapped, leaning just a little as she spoke. "You got to know me, I got to know you, we fell in love, it happens Sesshomaru…" Part of her wondered whether or not she should have him call on his mother to prove her point, though being that the woman still referred to her as his pet it might not have been exactly wise.

Taking a deep breath, she willed her temper down, deciding to press forward.

"It started after the final battle with Naraku, you'd come to the village to visit Rin and we would talk. Just in passing at first, then we started to hold short conversations and once in a while you would bring me a flower…"

Her tone softened as the memory surfaced in her mind, it had been a warm spring day the first time he'd left her such a gift. He'd come to see Rin and had asked her where she and Kaede were. The younger miko had no qualm with telling him where they were and it was only after he'd left that she noticed the pale pink flower that had been thoughtfully placed in her basket of herbs.

She'd worn it in her hair the entire rest of the day.

Love? They fell in love? Impossible. He would not fall in love with a human. How did it happen? Her words stirred no visual memories, only scents and emotions. He remembered feeling happy and excited when he smelled her scent one day. "Who is Rin?" he asked.

Blinking at his question, she was just a little slow to answer.

"She's your ward…" Oh where was Jaken when you actually needed him? The little toad knew a lot more about how the demon had gained the little follower than she did. Sesshomaru had never talked about it and she'd never really felt the need to ask.

"My ward?" he echoed with confusion. He did not expect to have taken anyone in and to raise them. "How did she come to be under my care? Did some follower of my father leave their youngest daughter in my care?" he asked. How had he forgotten so much? So much seemed to have happened in a couple decades.

Kagome shook her head to express that she honestly didn't know much about it, Jaken would be the being to ask about it, not her.

"I don't know…" Running a hand up her arm, she gave him an apologetic look and truly wished that she'd prodded him for more details on the topic. "You can ask Jaken if we go home…" The offer was hopeful, she honestly wanted to take him home, and it might jog a few things in his memory.

Besides, Jaken would be able to fill the demon lord in on much more than she could and the village was where they'd left him to help look after Rin. She definitely wanted to be there when they spoke, however. The little imp might choose to wipe her from his life entirely and she wanted to be there to punch him if he tried.

"Home. Do you expect me to believe we live together?" he asked, but his voice was a little less biting. It showed his disbelief instead of his scorn. Based on what he could remember, his relationship with the miko was close, far closer than he was able to comprehend, and that was what worried him. He didn't want to be weak, and having a woman like her could make him vulnerable.

Kagome's lip trembled as he asked the question, though there was a lot less bite in his voice than there had been before, the disbelief and shock that was still very present was what hurt. She wanted to shake him; to scream and cry and force him to remember her any way that she could, but she knew better than to think that would work.

These types of situations had to be handled delicately so while she wanted to do almost anything else, she took a deep breath and did her best to remain calm. Her voice trembled just a little when she answered him after a long moment of collecting herself.

"Yes, Sesshomaru, we live together." They hadn't for very long though, she'd only convinced him to stay there with her a few months ago. A smile forced its way onto her lips as she tried to keep herself from crying as she continued.

"We sleep together too…" her voice cracked and revealed far more than she wanted to, "You almost always wake up before I do, the one time you didn't I decided to draw a portrait of you and we ended up not even starting our day until the sun was well past halfway through the sky…" She liked seeing him sleep, it was a treat because he tended to go to sleep after her and wake up before her. If it weren't for the rare occasion where she caught him dozing, she might have thought he hadn't slept at all.

"I see," he said with a nod. Oddly enough, the idea didn't send such a jolt of disgust through him. "Will you show me the portrait when we arrive…home?" he asked. The word was foreign to his mind, but somehow it felt right, familiar.

If only he had all his memories. Then he could see if the miko was telling the truth, even if he had the feeling she was being honest with him. She already described his sleeping pattern correctly, so he already started to believe her a little more.

"I apologize for not being able to remember. I can tell you are telling the truth, but my skepticism prevents me from simply taking your word for it. I'm sure you can understand that."

Nodding at his statement, the mikos gaze turned away from him to try and hide the fact that she was losing the fight against the urge to cry. In an effort to regain her control, she took a deep breath and let it out before forcing herself to straighten up and look at him again.

"Well, we should get going then, it's a two day walk…" Of course, it wasn't for him; he could fly had he chosen to.

That long of a time was unappealing to him at the moment. Maybe it was because of the sadness he felt from his companion. "Wouldn't it be easier to fly? You can still direct me while I fly," he suggested. He just wanted to recover his memories and he felt returning to their home would be best.

The raven haired girl watched as he surveyed her silently and considered the situation before him; before he offered another solution besides walking. She hadn't expected him to offer, they'd only flown together once and it had taken quite some pleading for him to finally agree. In the end it had been something they both had enjoyed enormously.

But how would it feel in this situation? Still she had to admit that it would definitely get them there faster than traveling on foot would have. Swallowing hard, her answer was a soft one.

"Only that's what you want…" Pacing towards him, she stepped close to him; dangerously, intimately close and a memory of the first time he'd kissed her flashed through her mind.

They'd been this close then as well.

Blinking the memory away and telling herself she wasn't going to start crying again, she took a breath and cleared her throat before reaching for his arm to wrap around her waist.

He instinctively pulled away before he caught himself and wrapped his arm around her waist, his cloud forming beneath their feet. As they lifted up into the sky, he noted that this position felt comfortable, and he also liked having her scent so close to him. It was odd, but it gave her story more and more credibility.

A smirked played on his lips at the newest memory. All he saw heard was a lot of pleading before he heard his voice agreeing to fly with her. It seemed like something she would do.

His grin didn't go unnoticed by the miko, who had glanced up just after they'd taken off to tell him the direction that they needed to go and found the barest of grins absently gracing his lips. Looking away as he caught her watching him, she turned in his grasp and leaned back against him comfortably, fully intent on directing him.

To her surprise however, he needed no direction; whether conscious of it or not, he knew which way was home and that brightened her spirits a little. It gave her hope that the ordeal that would come next might bring him a step closer to remembering her.

Heaven help him when he did remember though, she was definitely going to take it all out on him in every torturously sweet way she could think of. That thought brought a smile to her own lips.

He was surprised to find that he knew the way home, despite not remembering a chunk of his life. Looking at it, he remembered when he first showed it to her. He covered her eyes until they were where he was standing now. Her surprised face and sound made him laugh and once she calmed down they shared a long kiss.

When he returned to reality, his lips still tingled with the feel of hers, and unconsciously, his fingers brushed over his lips with a puzzled expression. Why was he being so affected by memories? The previous ones hadn't done anything like that.

The mikos attention was brought back to him as they started their decent, he shifted behind her, bringing his hand up to brush against his lips as his eyes widened with surprise. A concerned expression came over her and she turned to look at him the moment they touched down on the hill outside of the village.

"Is something wrong?" she asked cautiously, but before he could answer they were interrupted by the far off voice of Rin calling out their names. Turning in surprise, the miko gave a gentle smile to the little girl, who was racing towards them with Jaken toddling frantically behind her calling out for her not to run.

Sesshomaru turned around, masking any confusion. He remembered Jaken, but not the girl. Rin. His eyes widened when he realized she was human. His ward was a human child. What had happened to cause this? His amber gaze, drifted over to the miko. Quite frankly, he wasn't entirely sure what to do. Things had changed, and he didn't know if he acted the same. Usually he would give a single word in greeting, but something told him, this wasn't quite the case, especially since the girl seemed so excited to see him.

Thankfully, Kagome came to his rescue.

Pacing a few steps ahead to meet the girl, she smiled and gave her a hug telling her that she and Sesshomaru had some things to talk about but that he would come see her later. The girl nodded in agreement and shot the stoic demon a pretty grin before hurrying off the way she'd come, back to Kaede's hut.

Jaken moved to go after her, but Kagome quickly came to stand in front of him and blocked his path.

"Not you" she said lightly, gaining a dirty look from the imp as her reward, but he knew better than to say harsh things out of turn. Anything he might have wanted to utter to her stayed in his mind, he didn't know yet that Sesshomaru may not have punished him had he said something off to the human woman above him.

"What are you doing, miko?" he asked, walking over to her. Glancing down at Jaken, he smirked at the look the imp gave Kagome. It was amusing, and he was fairly sure this happened often. The only person Jaken seemed to like was himself, and that was only because he killed the demon attacking Jaken's clan, earning a hero-worshipper.

"You need to talk to him, right?" she asked lightly, "So talk…" She crossed her arms, a little bit annoyed with his amusement at the toad's blatant dislike of her. Jaken turned then and gazed up at his master with a curious dread, obviously he thought that there was something he'd done-or something Sesshomaru thought he'd done-that warranted some form of punishment.

"Y-yes milord?" his voice shook in its high pitched way.

"Do not ask question, but I would like you to tell me about Rin. How did she become my ward?" he asked in a level voice. He watched as the imp responded with a surprised squawk before launching into the story. By the end, he learned that he had been terribly injured when Rin tried to nurse him back to health. Then when he found Rin's body, he chose to resurrect her, and she had followed him ever since.

"And what of the miko? What can you tell me about her, without your opinion of her?" he asked

The dismissal of his added opinion made Jaken swallow and Kagome had the feeling that if he'd been looking at her he would have frowned. With shaky words and a bit of stuttering, the imp recounted Kagome's previous 'alliance' (as he put it) with Inuyasha and how she'd ended that alliance when Sesshomaru had 'taken an interest'. Though that wasn't entirely true-Kagome had left Inuyasha well before she and Sesshomaru had even begun-Kagome let it pass as he was more or less telling what he knew to be the truth.

Jaken made his way through the details in short order, sputtering more than once as he spoke about their courtship and engagement. Kagome watched him carefully as he-surprisingly-told the tale with little embellishment; though that was likely because Sesshomaru had punished him more than once for speaking out of turn about the priestess and he wasn't looking for a painful reminder of his place in this world.

When he'd finished, deep brown eyes rose from the imp to settle on Sesshomaru.

It was a lot to take in. He must have changed a lot. Unfortunately, it hadn't done a lot to recover his memory, only unimportant fragments that gave indications to what he liked about the miko. He could already feel himself becoming drawn in once more. Her scent, it appealed to him more than he cared to admit. He needed more time to think about things.

"Go back to watching over Rin," he commanded to Jaken, then he turned to Kagome, "I will be in our hut."

Giving a nod as her heart sank, she turned and headed towards the hut they shared, she had promised to show him the portrait and he probably needed reminding which house was theirs. The straw mat that served as a door was pushed to the side and she waited for him to enter before entering the little one room home behind him.

It was modest, no better or worse than any other home in the village with a step up to the main floor, a fire pit in the center of the main area and a little nook in the back where they slept. Without a word, she crossed the main room to a small set of shelves that held her personal items. She dug in them for a moment and produced the sketchbook she'd been working in.

Handing it to him, she left the hut, needing to take a walk to clear her head and level her emotions. Besides, she didn't really want to start crying in front of him again.

Once she left, he flipped through it until he found the picture she mentioned earlier, the one of him sleeping. His eyes traced each stroke that must've been made with the care of an artist and of someone that was familiar with the contours of his face and body. He remembered waking up in the middle of the sketch, but he remained in the position so she could finish. However when she was done, he reached out and pulled her against his chest, placing kisses all over.

Coming back to reality, he yearned for affection like that. But honestly, he had that. If only he could remember. Laying down in the bed, he hoped that maybe deep meditation would help him uncover some memories.


	3. Chapter 3

Kagome didn't return until the sun had nearly disappeared past the horizon and most of the villagers had deserted the streets of the little village. The few men left out gave her a friendly smile which she forced in return, happy that it was dark enough that they couldn't see just how red her face was.

She'd gone to the well, sitting with her back against the aged wood and sobbing into her knees until she'd completely exhausted herself. Her head still hurt from the effort, but emotionally she felt better. Cleansed.

While at the well she'd pondered whether or not she should have just gone to her mother's for the night, but that wouldn't have solved anything and the idea had been quickly dismissed. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the straw mat aside and stepped into the hut she called home.

As soon as he lay down, her scent—their combined scent—filled his nose. It was intoxicating, and he breathed deeper and deeper until he quickly found himself in a meditative state. If he didn't have an important goal, he would've wondered at the reason he calmed so quickly.

Fragments of memories passed before his eyes. A long time seemed to pass before he had a somewhat cohesive picture. He managed to remember everything that happened with Naraku, and when he befriended Kagome. Even though he couldn't remember the love he felt, he at least knew her a little better. It was better than nothing.

"Kagome," murmured, bolting upright as she entered the hut. His face was relaxed, happy to see her, but not the way a lover would be. He looked as if he was seeing a friend rather than a spouse.

Even in the ever dimming light Kagome could see the familiarity in his eyes. A smile crossed her lips as he said her name and she knew he would be able to tell that she had been crying. Still, a spike of hope ran up through her and she removed her sandals and stepped up to be on level ground with him.

"Any luck?" she asked, trying to sound casual as she crossed the room and tried to ignore the on edge desperation that was coursing through her. A match was lit and its flame was transferred to a candle or two before Kagome busied herself with making a fire.

The whole scene was reminiscent of the first time they'd slept together here in her bed. There had been this palpable, unspoken sense of nervousness present that was here now, though for a much different reason.

As she made the fire and started making stew, she could feel his eyes on her.

"Some," he said. If he remembered more he would've reached out to her, but his next bit of news might not make her so accepting of him. "I remember everything up to the point we became friends…I do not yet remember the love or affection I felt for you. I am not quite sure how we got to the point of being lovers…but the more I think, the more I can almost see the progression."

His amber eyes carefully watched her, unsure how she'd take the news. It wasn't what she wanted, and he suspected it would hurt a bit too. There was nothing he could do though and that was what frustrated him the most. He remembered her reactions earlier and thinking back, he felt bad for being the cause of it.

It wasn't until she'd gotten the fire going and the little house was lit up that she turned to face him. Those amber eyes that she loved so much watched her apologetically. Nothing moved inside her, she was emotionally exhausted and was at a complete loss of what to do. She hadn't thought when she'd left that he would forget her, amnesia had never crossed her mind as a possibility and now that she was staring it in the face with every ounce of hope, confusion and sorrow expended, she had no idea what to do to help him.

Giving a sigh, she managed a smile for him-after all the situation wasn't his fault and there was no point in making it out to be-and leaned to press a gentle kiss to his lips. She wasn't giving up, that much was for certain, but there was nothing she could do to force it, it had to happen on its own terms.

So she crossed the room, sat down on the futon that they shared, patted the spot beside her and tried a new tactic.

"Tell me a story..." she demanded light heartedly, "What did you dream about while you were at the village after they found you?"

He didn't respond to the kiss; he couldn't, not when it would give her false hope. Apology shone in his eyes when she pulled away. "My dreams? They were vague, chaotic, the fight. That being said, I remember a raven-haired woman. I remember her beauty and how it captivated me in the dream," he said softly, staring at the fire.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he glanced at her. Now that he didn't hate humans, he could fully admire her beauty. His eye discreetly traced over her form. Perhaps he would fall in love all over again, but he wouldn't mind that if it happened

Fighting the urge to lean against him, she shifted to lean against a wall and caught him watching her; the glow of the fire turning his magenta stripes a brownish orange.

**Could the raven haired woman in his dreams have been her?**

It was certainly possible but she wasn't sure if she wanted to believe that right now. Brushing her hair behind her ears with both hands, she pulled her knees up and watched him.

"So tell me about her...what detail from the dream comes to mind first?" She would ask what he remembered soon enough, but she was curious to see where this avenue led.

He closed his eyes. "Her scent. Sweet and summery. She also smelled like home. Next I remember her personality. It is very dissimilar to mine. Warm whereas mine is colder. Then here voice. Soothing, even when she talked nonstop. All I can remember is her. Whatever else happened in the dream is a mystery," he said.

The irony wasn't lost on him. In the dream world, he could remember Kagome, but in the waking world…he could not remember the love he felt, not like the dream. He didn't tell her that because it would make the fact that he didn't love her hurt more. Once he remembered everything, maybe he'd tell her.

Kagome's lip trembled a little but she managed a smile for him, deciding to tell a story of her own. It wasn't prompted but she hoped he would listen and maybe bring something back.

"There's a market I don't go to anymore..." she murmured softly as she leaned back and watched the fire cast dancing shadows on the ceiling. "It's the largest market within a day's walk that carries everything I might need all in one place. Since I stopped going there I have had to go to three other markets, one of them further away than the larger one. The reason I stopped going to the market, started with an incident that happened at the very beginning of spring. We'd gone together, mainly so you could help me carry rice back, and it was an excuse to spend time together."

"I think everyone was thinking it, you could tell by the way they watched us walk past. But there was one woman..." Her hand came up to touch her cheek at the memory, "she slapped me across the face and yelled at me for bringing you with me. I dropped the jar I had been holding and before I could recover, you'd stepped up between us." She laughed a little, "I've never seen someone look so scared in my entire life..."

"You didn't hurt her though, I pulled you away and you didn't fight me; you even checked to see if I was okay once we were out of the village and on our way home. I tried going back alone after that but people would glare at me or give me sorry looks and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I was always afraid someone was going to confront me and if things took a turn for the worse you weren't going to be there to help me so eventually I just stopped going. It took me two months to tell you, I always insisted on going shopping alone."

She laughed again tears brimming in her eyes again at the memory; their life-though just starting-was not an easy one. But there was nothing in this world or any other that she would trade it for.

His attention faded out so that he barely heard her words. A memory came into focus in his mind's eye. The happiness of being with her quickly spoiled when he heard a loud crash. He made it to the scene to see the aftermath of the woman's slap. White-hot anger filled him as he stepped between the two. He wanted to show the woman the animal he could be, but he also wanted to be someone Kagome would continue to love.

Blinking rapidly, he stared with an unfocused gaze at Kagome. He had never felt that strongly before…at least not that he could remember. The emotions in the memory were so strong they were almost real.

"I remember that day. It's the strongest memory I've had yet," he said softly, placing a hand on hers. Her unshed tears bothered him, and he didn't want them to fall. She shouldn't be crying.

His comment about remembering that day sent a shiver through her and suddenly she felt weak. Her head dropping, to rest on his hand that had covered hers, she did her best to regain herself.

**This was good, right?**

After a long moment, her head rose and her hand that his wasn't holding reached to cup his face. Light fingertips traced his magenta markings and she smiled a gentle smile, the first genuinely happy smile he'd seen probably since she'd first seen that it had been him in the headman's house.

"I love you..." She didn't really care if he said it back, or if it brought a memory forward or not; she knew that he didn't remember loving her back, but right now all she wanted was to tell him that simple truth.

He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I wish I could remember the love we shared. I'm sorry I got injured like this," he murmured, leaning into her touch. Despite what he said, he liked being close to her. Something about her scent or presence having a calming effect. "If it takes too long, I may just wind up falling in love with you again," he admitted in a barely audible voice.

All she could do was laugh at his statement, mentally admitting that nothing would have made her happier. While part of her hoped that his memories wouldn't be lost forever, she didn't hate the idea of having him fall in love with her all over again.

Pulling away then and getting up to stir the stew. Honestly she just wanted to go to sleep, she wasn't in the mood for food or to take care of the meal after it was finished but she imagined that he was hungry and while he didn't normally eat human food, it was all she had to make him comfortable.

"I think I could live with that..." she said softly, managing a smile as she handed him a bowl of stew before returning to her spot against the wall.

Even though he didn't usually eat human food, he decided to eat it since she went through all the trouble of making it. He stared at the stew as he ate it, his thoughts far away and revisiting the recently recovered memories. He felt exhausted, and he was within his right to after such a long and draining day.

"It's been a long day. I'm going to go to sleep," he announced.

The miko nodded, covering the pot which now sat over heated coals as the fire dwindled and died. She thought about asking if he wanted to share the futon, but instead she took one of the blankets that was folded at the foot of the sleeping area and spread it out on the floor.

"It's been a long day..." was her only reply to his statement.

Turning her back to him-she felt it was indecent not to at this point-she slid her haori down to pool around her waist and removed her bra. Being surprisingly careful that all he could see was her back and the gentle movements of her shoulder blades, she pulled her top back up. Part of her wondered if she dared to look if she would catch him watching her.

Her movements caught his attention, and he immediately looked towards her only to find her trying to change without his notice. Giving her privacy, he stared at the ground, but something kept drawing his gaze back to her. What was this feeling again? Attraction, if he realized.

Once she was done, he stood up and walked over to her. "Kagome. You should sleep on the futon, it is more comfortable than a blanket and the floor," he said softly.

Jumping when his voice was suddenly right behind her, she jumped to find him all but looming over her. Swallowing hard as she thanked the heavens for the dim light that hid the blush that was starting on her cheeks at his close proximity.

As she registered his comment, she shook her head and managed a smile.

"That's alright..." He needed the bed more than she did; he was the one trying to recover.

He crouched down so that he no longer stood so far above her. "Sleep on the futon, Kagome," he repeated, this time with a little more strictness supporting his words. The last thing he wanted was for her to wake up tomorrow and be in pain from having a stiff back or something similar.

"I do not mind sleeping on the floor," he added.

Kagome didn't miss the sudden tone of command that his voice took on and she gave him a slightly stern look.

"Sesshomaru, the only way I am sleeping in that futon is if you're sleeping beside me." Her voice didn't waver, she wouldn't let it. There was no way she could go back to sleeping alone with him so close. They'd shared a bed for ages by now-even before he'd officially moved in-she couldn't sleep in **their **bed, alone.

**It wasn't happening.**

He searched her face for a sign that she'd agree to sleep there without him, but he found nothing. Finally he realized this was one issue he would not win. "Very well. I will sleep beside you," he replied with a nod before walking back to the futon. Lying down, he moved over so Kagome had enough room. Hopefully sleep would allow him to remember everything else.

Somehow throughout the course of the night, he shifted around. In his half-asleep state, he moved so that he was closer to Kagome, but that didn't satisfy him enough. He pulled her even closer until her head was on his chest with his arms wrapped around her, his nose buried in her hair.

Amber eyes opened in the morning, confused at why there was so much black in his vision. Pulling back slightly, he realized Kagome lay in his arms. The same way he often held her each night, he thought. His eyes widened when he realized he just remember something new, and that caused the corner of his mouth to pull upwards.

Moaning in her sleep at his movements, the miko didn't wake right away but instead settled against him more comfortably. It was only after she did that her eyes slowly fluttered open and the semi-conscious miko forgot about their ordeal of the day before and smiled at him.

"Good morning…" she murmured familiarly, as she had every morning since he'd started sleeping there and for a brief moment they were transported to a time before he'd left for that battle that had delivered him wounded and memory less to her.

"Good morning. I trust you slept well?" he asked in a relaxed voice. Compared to yesterday, he felt a lot better and calmer. In his mind, he made it a goal to find more memories, even if it only stopped Kagome from being so sad. But he too also wanted his memories back. He pushed his frustration away, not wanting to get worked up so early in the morning.

She nodded in answer to his question, nuzzling her cheek against his chest as she did.

"How did you sleep?" In that sentence it all came rushing back at her and her smile dimmed ever so slightly. But she didn't move, she was comfortable and was enjoying the closeness even though she was sure it was confusing to him.

"I slept well, better than when I was away fighting and injured," he replied. With a wistful sigh, he put some space between their bodies. As much as he wanted to stay where he was or even move closer, it didn't seem right. It would be like cheating her out of something. It would simply be for his physical benefit if he pulled her closer.

"I wish we could go back to before I left…when I had all my memories," he murmured.

As he pulled away, the miko got up to get ready for the day and did her best to ignore the sharp spike of sorrow that drove into her.

"So do I…" she whispered to herself before crossing the room and picking up her hairbrush. Sitting on the step that led down to the dirt floor before the door, she worked on brushing her hair. After a moment she stopped, not turning to look at him when she spoke, returning to her brushing as she did.

"Can you tell me about the battle? Do you remember anything before it?"

"As I flew towards the battleground, I remember thinking of you. As for what those thoughts were, I do not remember. I was surprised. I thought I was going to fight just one youkai, but four more attacked within minutes of my fight with the main one. The fight itself is a blur, but I remember things going black for a second. The last youkai's blade was coming towards my neck when I rolled out of the way. My head throbbed, but I killed the last youkai and flew back home. As you know, I never made it. You know the rest of the story too," he replied in a slow voice.

Hairbrush slowing to a stop, the miko listened in silence as the demon recounted the tale. It took her a moment afterwards for her to return to the task and once she did she only pulled the brush through a couple more times before setting it aside. Then she took a deep breath, stood, put on her zori and turned to give him a gentle smile.

"I have chores to do, wander about if you like; I only request that you return to me by sundown..." It wasn't an order, it was a request and she didn't know how he would take to such a request. In truth she just wanted to see what exploring brought forth in his mind.

Besides that she didn't need him looming over her shoulder as she did her chores and worked on some form of strategy to help him along.

She turned to head out of the door but paused as her hand touched the heavy straw mat. Her hair fell down her back as she turned back to him, a curious look on her face.

"Do you remember the night before you left for battle?" she asked, her grip on the mat tightening a little as she braced herself for his answer.

He shook his head.

"I do not remember what happened, but I do remember the emotions. It feels bittersweet; I'm happy to be doing whatever I was doing but sad to leave in the morning. There's also a peculiar feeling of warmth. It spreads throughout me but originates here," he replied resting a hand on his chest.

Kagome nodded and looked away from him. She couldn't say that she was exactly happy with his answer, but she was glad that he remembered everything. He might actually get a tad embarrassed when he finally remembered their night together. Granted it wasn't the first they'd had, it hadn't even been the first time they'd gone from dusk till dawn.

But there was a large amount of emotion behind the whole ordeal, emotion and experiences that she knew that she wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. It had been a night of pleasure, connection and branding between the two of them.

After a long moment, the miko nodded.

"Yes, well, you can go through our belongings and see if anything brings something back." She nodded again, as if reassuring herself, "I'll be back by sundown." And with that she grabbed her basket, knocking down a jar of spices that she didn't hear smash as she left the hut.

It hurt more than she wanted it to.

With a nod he watched her leave. He could almost feel the sadness radiating off her. Standing up, he cleaned up the ruined jar and spices before going to at their belongings. As he ran a clawed hand through the objects, memories slowly trickled in. When he touched her hairbrush, he remembered the first time they bathed together.

That night his heart was pounding, and her touch left fire in its wake. They were both nervous, but excited. It was another big step in their relationship. They took turns washing each other; it was one of the few times he could say he was actually worried, but the happiness and affection that came made it worth it. As he slowly remembered that night, he smiled softly.


End file.
